


I Will Follow You Into The Dark

by spn1dneedit



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Criminal lack of the other boys, Kidnapping, M/M, Niall-centric, Polyamory, Suicide, Triggers, dead Niall, kidnapped!au, non-explicit reference to violence and death, ptsd Zayn, suicidal Zayn, zaniam - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-08 05:40:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1928718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spn1dneedit/pseuds/spn1dneedit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Me.” Niall says the words quietly, the scratchy, deep sound of his voice indicating the silent sobs he’d been letting out.<br/>“OK.” The gun is quickly taken from Niall’s outstretched hands, and while taking his dying breath Niall hears the frantic screaming of both Liam and Zayn, protesting his choice, and even though he’s scared, shaking, crying, and about to die, Niall’s last moment of his life is spent reflecting on how lucky he was to be loved as much as he was. </p><p> </p><p>Or the one where Niall, Zayn, and Liam are kidnapped, but only Zayn and Liam make it back</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Will Follow You Into The Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Death Cab For Cutie -I Will Follow You Into The Dark

“Choose one.” The harsh words of his captor made Niall quiver in fear, tears flowing out of his eyes and down his cheeks silently.  
“I can’t. Please don’t make me do this. I’m begging you, please.” Niall speaks brokenly while swallowing down large sobs, the gun is heavy and cold in his bound hands. He can’t do this, he can’t make the decision, nor can he kill either of his two boyfriends that sit in hard metal chairs.  
“You will shoot either Liam or Zayn, or I shoot you right in front of them both.” The menacing smirk in his kidnapper’s voice is evident even in the dark room, and it makes the hair on the back of Niall’s neck stand up.  
“Just kill me.” It’s Zayn who speaks, voice gruff and sturdy, breaking the quiet in the room. Niall whimpers at the mere suggestion of killing Zayn.  
“No Niall, just shoot me. It’ll be OK, I love you.” Liam speaks from a few feet away, his voice more shaky than Zayn’s, as if he’s trying not to cry.  
“Shut up you too, or else I’ll just shoot all three of you. This whining cunt has to choose on his own and he knows it too, he has to decide which of you he loves more. Unless of course, he wants me to take that gun off his hands and shoot him instead.”  
There’s a horrifying silence in the room after that, nobody stirring, the four of them barely breathing into the darkness. Niall raises the gun wordlessly and both Zayn and Liam flinch.  
“Me.” Niall says the words quietly, the scratchy, deep sound of his voice indicating the silent sobs he’d been letting out.  
“OK.” The gun is quickly taken from Niall’s outstretched hands, and while taking his dying breath Niall hears the frantic screaming of both Liam and Zayn, protesting his choice, and even though he’s scared, shaking, crying, and about to die, Niall’s last moment of his life is spent reflecting on how lucky he was to be loved as much as he was.  
***  
It wasn’t long after that that Zayn and Liam are rescued. They find out that they’ve been missing nearly two months, though it seemed like years, especially after Niall was gone. They were also notified that the dark room they had been held in was their captor’s basement, though it didn’t matter where they were or how long they were there, all that mattered was that Niall wasn’t with them when they left.  
The two months they spent there hadn’t been good to either of the boys. Zayn’s usually perfectly pronounced cheekbones that Niall had always loved kissing over were now hollow and gaunt, matching the dead look Zayn now carried in his eyes.  
Liam’s body had once been something to marvel at, sinewy muscle and tanned skin that Niall would run his tongue down as if it were candy, but now Liam was skinny, the muscles on his now pale arms almost nonexistent, his hands barely strong enough to keep his fingers interlocked with Zayn’s as they were forced back into reality. 

They returned home after talking to local police and recovering at the hospital, though it didn’t seem right to either of the two boys, and they both knew why, Niall wasn’t there. And in that moment both boys realized that nothing would ever again really feel right, because Niall, the thing that made everything right, was gone.  
The train ride to see their families again was long and boring, but neither Liam nor Zayn knew what to say to fill the empty space, so the sound of the trains constant moving was the only thing that disturbed the silence.  
The two remaining boys stepped off of the train and onto the platform together, hands intertwined and hearts pounding loudly in their chests. Zayn’s whole family was there, both of his parents, his three sisters, and many aunts and uncles crowded around him, throwing questions at im that would remain unanswered for years. Liam’s mum and Dad showed, along with his two sisters, but that was enough for Liam, just the core people whom he knew loved him. Out of the corner of their eyes both Liam and Zayn saw Niall’s family, Maura Gallagher, Bobby Horan and Greg Horan, all huddled in some sort of circle, crying softly when Niall didn’t come off of the train.  
***  
“We’re here today to send Niall Horan, an amazing son, brother, boyfriend, and friend, off to heaven, where he belongs with God and all of the other angels that weren’t meant to stay here on Earth.” As the Pastor started to step down from the microphone Zayn stood up, fury in his eyes and his hands balled up by his sides,  
“That’s not true. Niall wasn’t meant to go, fuck you, fuck you! He wasn’t supposed to go, he was supposed to stay here, I should’ve gone, he should’ve killed me, that stupid fucking bastard was so fucking selfless.” Zayn cried out in hysterics, Liam quietly rubbing his back in hopes to calm him down.  
“No, you know what? Fuck you too Liam! He wouldn’t be dead if your sorry ass hadn’t decided that we needed to go out that Friday! Now he’s dead, Niall is fucking gone, and we’ll never be able to fucking spend time with him again, but thank God we went out that night, because obviously mediocre pizza and decent at best small talk was worth getting kidnapped and watching the love of my life get killed!” Zayn screamed at Liam, and everybody watched in awe as the usually quiet raven haired boy finally let his emotions show, tears running down his cheeks as he unleashed his bottled up rage onto Liam.  
“Don’t you dare fucking blame this on me Zayn, you can’t blame me solely for what happened and you know it!” If I’d have known that that would’ve happened… hell, if I’d have had the slightest inkling of a feeling that something bad was going to happen, do you really think I would’ve pushed so hard to go out that night?” Liam started out yelling but his voice quickly got quieter, looking pleadingly into Zayn’s eyes, searching for any form of emotion other than anger, but Zayn just turned away from him.  
“I think both of you boys should leave.” It’s Maura both boys see when they look towards the voice, her features stern despite the tears in her eyes.  
“I understand that you loved Niall, both of you, and maybe even loved each other, but both of you are acting like complete twats. What we’re doing here isn’t about you, it’s about Niall, and sending him off with peace, but apparently neither of you can see that. I know and understand the pain you’re feeling right now but so help me god, I’m trying my best not to make a scene, but right now all you two are doing is causing problems, so I think you should both sit back down and stop causing a scene, or you should leave.”  
And that was the last time anyone at the funeral saw Zayn for years.  
***  
When Zayn finally resurfaces, finding his way back to London after years of hating himself, hating Liam, hating Niall, hating Maura, and really just all together hating life, he’s a mess. He’s gotten more tattoos and picked up smoking, though Niall begged him years before to quit, he always smells like booze and has pills in his pockets to numb the pain. He isn’t the same twenty one year old he was when they got kidnapped, though neither was Liam.  
The two see each other on the street one day, Zayn has an indiscreet blunt hanging between his lips and Liam is fiddling his hands in his pockets, unknown to most that it’s the knife he’s been carrying around since the kidnapping. They see each other and it takes a moment before Liam raises one of his hands up in a small wave, and Zayn returns it, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. It was the first of many encounters between the two.  
“So how are you, really?” Liam asks the question while the two are out for coffee one day, it isn’t the usual lighthearted ‘how are you’ that Liam is asking, he’s really curious as to how Zayn’s been dealing with Niall’s death the last few years.  
“To be real honest, I’m shit. I haven’t slept through the night in months and in the certain occasions that God blesses me with sleep, I only dream of that night. I remember it all, the ways his hands shook with the weight of the gun, the way tears ran down his forehead, I remember that minutes later it wasn’t sweat running down his face, but rather blood. Blood that you and I spent weeks looking at on the floor before the police came.  
But of Course, besides that I have a slight addiction to pills, alcohol, and cigarettes. So I’d say I’m doing awful, and you?” Zayn’s blunt answer disorients Liam from answering for a couple of minutes before he figures out how to respond.  
“I think I’m starting to get better. I was horrible, just like you, I had dreams, nightmares, I used alcohol to numb the pain, but then I talked to someone. I went to see a professional and they helped, a lot. Ever since then I’ve been better, I’ve got a job, I’ve started back up in school, and… I’ve met someone.” Zayn had only really been half listening until then, but when he heard that Liam had ‘met’ someone his eyes narrowed.  
“What do you mean you’ve ‘met’ someone?”  
“I’m dating someone, a girl, her name is Sophia, she’s”  
“I don’t need to know her name.” Zayn spits the words out towards Liam.  
“Zayn please, it’s been almost five years. I think Niall would’ve wanted us to move on-“ Zayn once again cuts Liam off.  
“Don’t speak for him, you don’t know.”  
“Yes Zayn, I do know. We both do, Niall never would’ve wanted us to be like this, he would’ve at least wanted us to be happy. Both you and I know that.” Zayn just sneers at him.  
“Are you then? Are you happy with this…? Sophie was it? Are you genuinely happy with her?”  
“Sophia. Her name is Sophia. And yes Zayn, I’m finally happy again. I’m sorry that you’re apparently not.  
“Don’t make assumptions about my life Liam.” Zayn says darkly before walking out of the coffee shop angrily, leaving his untouched coffee on the table.  
***  
He was unhappy though, Liam was right. Zayn would never admit it though, so as the years past it ate away at him. It got worse and worse, Zayn moved away from London again, hoping to catch a break by moving to a new town, but it just got worse. The nightmares became more frequent and more vivid, he couldn’t go out at night, and soon enough Zayn was barely living anymore.  
***  
No one was particularly surprised when the news that Zayn had killed himself spread, but that didn’t stop it from hurting any less. He had shot himself, one bullet to the head. There was a suicide note, a list of things Zayn had loved about Niall (and Liam), and a small blurb about why he had done it, though most could take a pretty spot on guess.  
Liam’s heart broke once again when he heard the news and read the note, and even though he loved Sophia, he realized that now that both of his soul mates were gone, he could never truly love anyone again.


End file.
